How to loose 98Kg in two days…

I have been abused before. Physically and emotionally pretty much throughout my life , and for the last 8years less frequently emotionally, and fortunately not physically.  Rather the lack of emotional interest is worse than the abuse.  My current husband prefers to wait until he has an audience, then he gives his best performance.  And because I also have an opinion, and mine is alway right …. That’s always his last holler at me, ” you always have the last say, you think you are always right, never wrong”. Really? Is that the best you can do? How about you having a valid point for a change.  I can see the error of my ways when it is pointed out to me, but “you are alway right” – well, that makes me think exactly that. Our latest fight came about when we had a discussion about our carI.  As always, he got stuck with two emotional buys, worth less than  they could be sold  for.  My business owns my vehicles, one kangoo for deliveries, and my own old Renault scenic to get  around, and take and fetch the kids.  He owned a land cruiser, and a combi.  He wanted to keep the combi to use on vacations, but it’s expensive to run long distances every day.  I said I would drive it, he could take my car, use it as a trade in, and get himself a Bakkie.  I would continue paying the new installment minus the difference, and I will drive the combi! He pays the instalment, and get to keep it. I had a shoulder operation, and during that time the combi went in for repairs, but it was not completed, I could not drive a stick car, and dearest decided to go to china for a week.  I still have to take the kids to school, collect them, get to work, get to a shop etc. So I had to rely on everybody else, and the maidhate to help me witDresses sing and undressing every day,  the embarrassment. So he got the combi returned, but the gears Transmission box were not fixed yet.  Since then I have not been able to drive more than 15 Kilo’s without it giving up on me, forcing me to pull over.  For the last week he’s been telling ME  to try and find somebody with a spare car, so he can send the Combi in for repairs. Why should I be the one to find a spare car?  I don’t know anybody with one?  Both his sister, his dad, two of his friends own one…. And it’s his responsibility to replace my “ride” with an operational one…..the one he took! So yesterday afternoon he yells at me he got a car from the  in- law’s and to go with him to fetch it.  I’m still  ready upset, but keep quiet on the way there.  As we stop and they come to greet us, he wants to know from me when I’m going to start saying something again. Or loose the attitude.  I asked him if he really thought now was the right time to pick a fight and he said yes. I told him he’s an asshole, and got out of the car.  Outside he asked me to repeat what I just said, (now with the full attention of his audience),and so I repeat what I said ( what is. He deaf now too….?) He then yells at me “fuck you”. ( he has a really loud, booming voice). I turn around greet everybody friendly, take the Bakker and leave. And so I think to myself.  I’m 40 this year, been married for 8 years. When I married him, I owned a paid off car, and had no debt.  Now I’m the  part owner of a house with a millionrands worth of debt, I own two cars worth of debt, and I have to pay school fees, groceries, the maid the gardeguy (almost mostly), thetelephone and Internet connections, and rub my small business.  He “earns” more than 4 time my salary, but only pays the house and electricity account.                 his sister  

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